Finn - Troy (obvious parallels are obvious)
Rachel - Sharpay
Kurt - Sharpay’s gay brother
Mercedes - That black girl
Santana - Gabriella (because they’re Spanish?)
Brittany - The girl who played piano (because fuck you that’s why)
Puck - The black guy (you know, the one with the hair, not with the baking)
Quinn - The fat girl
And then everyone else can play the dumb characters they brought into the third one because no one cares about them.